what is fetishizing?

fetishizing, put simply, is an excessive or irrational commitment/obsession with something. it also means "to obsess over" but has different meanings. fetishizing does not have to be sexual, and most of the time isn't.

examples of fetishizing

reading mlm smut as a non-mlm, reading mlm aus as a cishet, writing mlm smut as a non-mlm, using the terms top/bottom, saying a ship is having sex right now, or its variants, reading yaoi/bl, fujoshis, saying you want a gay bff

do:
talk to mlms about their experiences, be diverse with your characters, portray the relationship realistically, ask mlm for help if you need it,

don't:
write smut, attempt to write about mlm struggles, use stereotypes, make one super feminine and the other one very masculine

"can i be lgbt and still fetishize mlm?" yes! it is more common than you think

"other straight people read mlm aus!" they are fetishizing mlm too

"can i use stereotypical tropes in my aus?" no, it is extremly harmful towards mlm and condones the thought that mlm act a certain way

"can i write mlm aus if i am lgbt?" as long as it isn't smut or nsfw go ahead

"these are my comfort ships. can i read aus about them?" as long as you are lgbt and it isn't sexual

"i read them because there isnt enough lgbt media rep" okay, cool, i get that, but it still doesn't give you the right to read mlm smut

"can i draw two mlm people together?" if it isn't sexual, i see no problem

"can i write about mlm struggles?" unless you've talked to mlm about it, no

"can i/do i identify as mlm?" if you are attracted to men, are a man, or are a masc nonbinary person, and feel more connected to masculinity, yes

"how do i know im fetishizing mlm?" the majority of things you read or write are mlm, u read mlm smut

"why is it fetishizing?"
because a- its smut which are literally sex scenes
b- you read so much mlm things you end up seeing us as sexual objects for your pleasure and enjoyment and not as real people with feelings